John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
