just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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