hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
