I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
