So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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