were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's just like the Real World with babies
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
