i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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