I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize