Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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