what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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