I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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