Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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