Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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