You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
farters have to be the big spoon...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
