allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
