I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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