Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
