I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
