Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
