i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
