He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize