Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
