i think i have herpe
just one?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
