Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
