You just made me feel so damn special
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
