is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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