dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
