The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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