You smell like a Billy Joel song
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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