haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am full of burrito and curiosity
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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