found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
