My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
