Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
