i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
