Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
