so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
