Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
