and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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