he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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