Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
