On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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