You're so nebulous sometimes
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
