I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
