margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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