Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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