Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
