how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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