I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
