I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
