Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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