you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
