so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
