Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
