dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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