If that was your dad, he is hot
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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