I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
