i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
