Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
