something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
