Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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