I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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