Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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