what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
