yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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