Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize