Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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