Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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