So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
