): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
