2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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