If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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